My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
