Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
