Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
