The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have fence marks all over my body
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