I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my being single is dangerous.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
