So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
