In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
