we have officially lost it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
