I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
