Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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