You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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