shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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