so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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