The maid of honor just puked.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
