The maid of honor just puked.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
