2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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