awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
