the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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