oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
