the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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