got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
