Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
