Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
