i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
