Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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