Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
