Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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