Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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