I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
