Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
