ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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