He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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