i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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