ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
