I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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