good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
