he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
