I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
