just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
