Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
