Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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