thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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