Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize