I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
