I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My life is pants optional.
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