Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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