She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I touched a dick in church today
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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