Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
