Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
