you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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