I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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