At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
