I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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