hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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