he was CRYING into my vagina
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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