How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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