why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
