Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
