found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
